Cinderella Complex 👠

When was the last time you tried on a glass slipper? Seems like a silly question, right… but how many of us are trying to squish our size 8-foot calling into a size 5 shoe? I’m convinced that many of us try to take control of our call from God, similar to trying to fit our feet into the glass slipper like Cinderella’s stepsisters. I call this the “Cinderella Complex.”

How many of us can relate? Obviously, I’m not talking about real slippers here… but how many of us try to squish our God-given talents or calling into a slipper that was designed for someone else? I know I personally can relate to the Cinderella Complex. Too often, I try on the slipper of something or someone else and come to find out it doesn’t fit. Then I begin to doubt God… my calling… what I was designed for.

Check out the scripture below and see how it relates to this Cinderella Complex and to living up to our God-given gifts and calling:

1 Samuel 16:1-13 (NLT)

1 Now the LORD said to Samuel, “You have mourned long enough for Saul. I have rejected him as king of Israel, so fill your flask with olive oil and go to Bethlehem. Find a man named Jesse who lives there, for I have selected one of his sons to be my king.”

2 But Samuel asked, “How can I do that? If Saul hears about it, he will kill me.”

“Take a heifer with you,” the LORD replied, “and say that you have come to make a sacrifice to the LORD. 3 Invite Jesse to the sacrifice, and I will show you which of his sons to anoint for me.”

4 So Samuel did as the LORD instructed. When he arrived at Bethlehem, the elders of the town came trembling to meet him. “What’s wrong?” they asked. “Do you come in peace?”

5 “Yes,” Samuel replied. “I have come to sacrifice to the LORD. Purify yourselves and come with me to the sacrifice.” Then Samuel performed the purification rite for Jesse and his sons and invited them to the sacrifice, too.

6 When they arrived, Samuel took one look at Eliab and thought, “Surely this is the LORD’s anointed!”

7 But the LORD said to Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The LORD doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”

8 Then Jesse told his son Abinadab to step forward and walk in front of Samuel. But Samuel said, “This is not the one the LORD has chosen.”

9 Next, Jesse summoned Shimea, but Samuel said, “Neither is this the one the LORD has chosen.”

10 In the same way, all seven of Jesse’s sons were presented to Samuel. But Samuel said to Jesse, “The LORD has not chosen any of these.”

11 Then Samuel asked, “Are these all the sons you have?”

“There is still the youngest,” Jesse replied. “But he’s out in the fields watching the sheep and goats.”

“Send for him at once,” Samuel said. “We will not sit down to eat until he arrives.”

12 So Jesse sent for him. He was dark and handsome, with beautiful eyes. And the LORD said, “This is the one; anoint him.”

13 So as David stood there among his brothers, Samuel took the flask of olive oil he had brought and anointed David with the oil. And the Spirit of the LORD came powerfully upon David from that day on. Then Samuel returned to Ramah.

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Think about it… how badly do you think David’s brothers wanted to be anointed by Samuel? They saw an opportunity and I imagine could not wait for it. However, God had a bigger plan in store. Just like Cinderella was almost unable to attend the ball, Jesse didn’t even think David was worth bringing to the dinner—until Samuel asked if he had any other sons.

It reminds me of how Cinderella’s stepsisters wanted so badly for the slipper to fit… how badly they wanted to attend the ball. How often do we try to fit our lives into something that was designed for others? How often are we one of Jesse’s other sons, staring at an opportunity and wishing we had those gifts or that chance? Or are we Cinderella or David—faced with an opportunity or calling that no one else believed was real or possible?

So what happens if we’re faced with this Cinderella Complex? I believe God has gifted each of us and given us the tools to pursue a purpose and plan bigger than ourselves. How we get there, or what it looks like, may be similar to David and his brothers or Cinderella and her stepsisters.

Next time you’re faced with one of these moments, here are some keys for approaching the Cinderella Complex:

• Wear the shoes you have been given. Just because you see someone else putting on that glass slipper doesn’t mean it’s time for you to wear it. Keep sharing your gifts and fulfilling your current call. Be consistent. Be patient. Don’t be jealous.

• Keep trying on new slippers. Don’t be afraid to try a new slipper or opportunity here or there. You just have to recognize whether the slipper fits. Does it align with your current call or opportunity? If it doesn’t, that’s okay.

• Reject the slippers that don’t fit. This is the hardest one because we all want that glass slipper to fit, right? When you come across slippers that don’t fit—your calling, your gifts—don’t wear them. Learn to say no. Put them aside. Observe the opportunity or call, and know that slipper wasn’t designed for you.

• If the slipper fits, wear it. We’ve all heard it before: if the shoe fits, wear it! If you find yourself in a new opportunity or role and it’s the perfect fit, wear it with style. Walk in that calling until the next glass slipper comes along.

God has given each of us gifts. Whether we try to force them into our lives or wait on them is up to us. Next time you experience the Cinderella Complex, try it on—and if it fits, wear it! Just like David—who was not the typical candidate for future leadership as King of Israel—or Cinderella, fit for the next princess, God wants you to live out your calling, not someone else’s. Show up to the ball and see if Prince Charming Himself is anointing you for something bigger than you!